Ore has let the building...(Gon(e)).

Went to Portland, Oregon this weekend to visit my family. And there was much rejoicing. Had a grand ol' time playing some scrabble with my cousin. Man, she's nearly a decade younger than me, yet she still managed to whip the living eggs out of me. Freaking 62 point moves! Went bowling as well, joined the 175 club apparently. I also managed to secure some Vans sans sales tax which was very nice. And, to top it all off, had a stomach full of newly-baked chocolate chip cookies. Delicious. That is all I have to say at this juncture. "Til next time, I'll leave the light on for ya.

I fear that thou has smote me...

It's now friday, and I am leaving for Oregon later this afternoon, and while I do look forward to hanging out with my cousins, all I can really think about is how I won't be spending the long-weekend with one very paranoid android. I must admit it, I am utterly smitten by her all-encompassing awesomeness (to be read in a very poor Mitch Hedburg impersonation). Gosh, I sound (and feel) like a very esoteric schoolboy. How very cliche of me.

See you next wednesday!

I've been depressed all day. I know everybody worries about their future, and their career, so this is nothing new. It's just that I find myself so afraid of failure and rejection, that I can't do anything to alter my predicament, which makes me depressed, causing me to worry again. It fucking sucks.

By all accounts, I'm one of the biggest bums with a mailing address I have ever encountered, only to be outdone by my brother. I know this. I mean, come on, I live at home, I "work" for my parents, and I'm trying to be an "artist" of some sort. Most days, I wake up, and I feel like an utter fraud. I don't write enough to be a writer, I'm not funny enough to be a comedian, and I don't produce enough to be a producer, so what the hell am I doing with my life. Most of the time I over-compensate by acting like an ego-maniac, but all that really is is a thinly-veiled defense mechanism employed by weaklings such as myself.

Oh, I know what you're thinking. "Hey there guy, quit bitching and just go out and do what you gotta do to change your current situation. I mean, look at me man, I got a real degree, a high paying job, a nice car, fuckin...members of the opposite sex all over me, parental approval of whomever I choose to date. It's not that hard." And as much as I would like to say "Hey, fuck you, don't call me guy!" you'd still be right, it shouldn't be that hard. Yet for some reason, I can't muster up the will to overcome my petty insecurities, and all I can ever do to is bitch and moan, and blog about how depressed I am. Perhaps I'm just destined to remain a whiny, insignificant little coward. Gosh, I really hope not.

Just doing my duty.

Yesterday, I had one of those moments when you hear a song that you haven't heard in a long time, and all of a sudden, a flood of emotions and memories pours into your consciousness, and it just floored me. The song? Chicago's "Saturday in The Park" of all things. Thank God for peer-to-peer file transfer software which allows one to satiate most musical cravings near-instantly. I have now been listening to the song almost non-stop. It's such a cheesy song, but I can't stop myself because it makes me so happy to hear it.

On a side note, what's with bands naming themselves after cities like the aforementioned Chicago, Boston, Portishead, or the Coventry Automatics (Big Bonus Points if anyone who reads this knows who that is). I mean, that's a lot of responsibility to place on the band's shoulders. Does that mean the whole city has to support them, no matter what? What if they suck? What if the city sucks? Well, I guess nobody in their right mind would name their band something like, I don't know, Chatsworth, or Placentia. But still, it just strikes me as a ill advised, that's all.

I feel like everyone's blog that I read has at one time or another had the obligatory post explaining their blog, or rationalizing why it's not what they had originally intended it to be, and how it all started out as fun, but is now more personal, and introspective. So, this is me, once again, hopping on the band wagon.

After writing a few posts now, attempting to be entertaining, witty, or in some way insightful at all, I have come to the conclusion that:
A.) I am neither entertaining, witty, or insightful.
B.) Nobody reads this shit cause there's like 60 billion better ones.
C.) I am tired of trying to be as entertaining, witty, and insightful as my entertaining, witty, and insightful friends.

So, this is me, becoming more personal, and introspective. Read if you like, or don't. Actually, I'd rather you didn't, cause I'm liable to hurt some people. Some people being me.

$#@! You!!

For all of you who didn't know, I have a blog now, upon which I blog my thoughts and discourse on the world around us. But, with each passing day, it is becoming ever more apparent to me that nobody gives a blog's blog, and I can't blogging take it anymore.

In fact, I would like to say, blog you. Blog you all. Blog you all in your bloggy little blogs. You can blog my blog while I'm blogging you blind. I'm going to go blog now about how I blog you all and how I can't ever seem to get a girl to blog me even if I paid her a blogging king's ransome.

Blog man...my life is truly blogging pathetic and I think I'm going to go blog my brains out. Excuse me.